Beer and Bottles (and other motherly advice)

Welcome, Carnival of Breastfeeding readers! This month’s theme is family breastfeeding histories. Check out the bottom of this posts for links to other posts on this topic.

My mother told me more than once that if she could do it over, she’d have learned to drink beer and watch football. Two things, she said, that would have come in handy in social settings. Even knowing this, I didn’t really develop a taste for beer or football, though I can tolerate them both. She also told me to introduce bottles to my babies.

I was born at home, in the late 70s, because my parents were concerned about the level of invasive procedures they’d be consenting to with a hospital delivery. My birth was attended by two midwives and an OB (called when he was on his way out to an event, and wearing, I’m told, a green tuxedo). My parents took Bradley classes, had a natural delivery (I’ve seen the video), and were committed to breastfeeding.

I nursed every two hours around the clock for the first 6 months of my life, maybe longer. My mother never gave me a bottle or a pacifier, never thought that her wholehearted commitment to the natural path would allow for such a thing. And she was, understandably exhausted.

When I was pregnant, she told me (much as she told me she wished she’d learned to drink beer) that she wished she’d arranged for my dad to give me a bottle – just one bottle a day – so she could get a break. And maybe a pacifier, too.

The arrival of my twins was eventful, and about as far from my own homebirth as possible. One baby was in the NICU for a few days and the other lost a lot of weight early on, and I began pumping and supplementing and trying to navigate between my room and the NICU and juggle three bodies, two breasts, and one frazzled mama.

My mother and my mother-in-law (herself a former Lamaze instructor) were both as supportive of breastfeeding as possible, though none of us had experience juggling twins. The two grandmothers stayed with us in shifts for the first 6 weeks, rotating night duties with my husband to help with the diapering and rocking so I could focus on breastfeeding.

When the babies were a few weeks old and we had settled into the slightest semblance of a routine, I tried to introduce the occasional bottle. I hadn’t forgotten what my mom had said, and she was just juggling ONE baby. We introduced bottles on and off, but neither baby seemed very interested. We tried again, with different brands, in different positions, with me in the room and out of the house – all the things you’re “supposed” to do to introduce bottles to breastfed babies, with no real success. Eventually we just gave up. I didn’t need to be away from them often or for long, so I didn’t worry much about the bottles.*

I didn’t sleep much for the first year of parenthood, either, so I get where my mom was coming from. In those dark, early days of breastfeeding, blog posts from other moms who breastfeeding their twins were lifelines, rays of hope that the neverending feedings and diapers would one day settle into a routine, and that we’d all make it through. I wish my mom had been blessed with the kind of community I have now, when she was a first time mom trying to make her way and make the best parenting decisions she could.

(*At some point, I read something on a blog about an enzyme imbalance and thought to taste my milk, and sure enough, it tasted off. After all that, maybe it was the milk and not the bottles!)

Check out these posts by other bloggers on this month’s theme (updated throughout the day):

• Christine @ Christine’s Contemplations: Carnival of Breastfeeding- My Family History of Nursing
• Judy @ Mommy News Blog: My Family History of Breastfeeding
• Jake Aryeh Marcus: Breastfeeding? Not in My Family
• Elita @ Blacktating: Three Generations of Breastfeeding
• Mama Mo @ Attached at the Nip: How Women in My Family Feed Babies
• Alicia @ Lactation Narration: Only the Hippies Were Breastfeeding
• Dr. Sarah: Breastfeeding, Circa 1950s
• Tanya @ Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog: An Unbroken Chain